Polished Stones
by Traci Miller
Summary: Renji thinks about Ichigo while standing in front of the Shinigami Representative's grave in the Physical World.


Polished Stones

By: Belle Keat

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach and have never claimed to. I do not own any legal rights to Bleach and am not in any way, shape or form connected to the owner(s)/creator(s) of Bleach or any copyright(s) owner(s)/holder(s). I am not in any way legally connected to, or acquainted with, anyone having any legal standing with or about Bleach. I have not now nor ever made or gained any profit or reward for this or any other fanfiction. This and all of my other fanfiction are purely and solely for entertainment purposes ONLY.

Warnings: Character death, humor, language, slight AU, future fic, implied yaoi, shounen ai, angst, drama

Word Count: 3,246

Date: 5/19/08

Abarai Renji stood silently in front of the polished stone, staring at it and the words carved into it. In time, he knew, the weather of this world would destroy the shine of the polishing that had been carefully done, and the words and numbers written in the stone would not last forever. They too would be rubbed out by the weather.

It still took him by surprise to see Kurosaki Ichigo's name on a headstone in the Physical World. The numbers were the birth date and death date, with a dash in between them. Even though Renji had always known that Ichigo was a living, breathing human being...and that humans always eventually died...it never truly crossed his mind that Ichigo would die.

The boy who had grown into a man had been so powerful. Even in his human body...his physical body. It had been hard to imagine Ichigo even growing old one day, let alone dying by any other means. He was so vibrant and full of life. Physical and spiritual power were just part of Ichigo. Of course, Ichigo was lying right where Renji knew he had wanted to be when he died.

Near his mother, the woman who shaped his life just as much in death as she had in life. One of the people Ichigo would never, ever forget. Renji had never met her, never been told truly what had happened to her. He just knew that she had died when Ichigo had been very young and that he had loved her so very much.

Being a person who hadn't parents himself, Renji couldn't truly understand the loving bond a parent normally had with their children, especially the mother who had carried and birthed the children. But, he knew the longing he had had on more than one occasion to have parents. People related to him to aspire to be like, to aspire to make proud...Not that it had deterred him in any way to do great things for any reason, even if just to prove to himself that he could despite what others said or thought. But, it would have been nice to look up once when he was a child and feel the pat on the back from his mother or perhaps his father and know that someone was proud of him.

Of course, his friends, such as Rukia, had been proud of him. But, he had a feeling that while it was gratifying to know that and to feel that pride from them in himself, it was not truly the same thing. And Renji had the feeling that as often as he had longed for parents for one reason or another throughout the time he could remember, that Ichigo had probably longed for his mother to be a physical form he could touch again. Not just speak to and let his words be carried away by the wind, more than likely unheard and uncared about.

Still, Renji could not truly imagine the hurt of having had parents and loving them so much and being loved by them so much and then having them ripped away from him. Especially since he knew for a fact that or some reason unknown to himself, Ichigo had felt so stubbornly that his mother's death was his fault in some manner.

But, then again...humans, especially humans named Kurosaki Ichigo, were rather emotional beings. Ichigo had been a very emotional person. Often, Renji had misinterpreted Ichigo's emotions as something else. Such as when they were fighting the Bountou, when Ichigo had become depressed after his failure to defeat their leader, Renji had at first thought Ichigo was simply afraid of the man.

Later, Renji had realized it was not fear of the powerful Bountou leader that had so thoroughly upset Ichigo. Nor truly the fact that he had failed to win the fight. It was the fact that Ichigo was frightened, not for himself, but for what may happen if he could not protect his friends, comrades-in-arms and family. Failure to Ichigo was not failure to himself. But, failure to protect those close to him. And Renji had the feeling that Ichigo felt himself sorely inadequate during those times. He also thought that the emotion ran deeper than that, so deep that he could not understand it himself due to the fact that he had never been able to crack Ichigo into telling him what the matter was.

Renji, however, was a like-minded person to Ichigo, though. And on some level he could understand it. It had always amazed Renji that Ichigo had rarely ever thought of himself. Everything he did was for others. Maybe it stemmed from the fact he felt he caused his mother's death. He would not let anyone else die on his watch. Was that the mentality Ichigo possessed when it came to protecting his friends? To shoulder not only all of his own problems silently, but those of everyone he cared about, everyone that touched him in some way?

That much had been true of Ichigo from day one since Renji had known him. Himself be damned, but he would die trying to save everyone else. Maybe that was why Ichigo was so damned emo. Because...he never let it out. He quietly shouldered his own problems, he valiantly shouldered the problems of everyone else he cared for. But, he never complained. Not really. Not about the big stuff.

And Renji admired him for that, not just the fact that he was powerful and had proven himself in battle on more occasions than Renji could count. Ichigo did not do these things for everyone simply to better himself, and he did not take on everyone else's problems simply to become a martyr. He did it for everyone else. And he did it without true expectancy of thanks. And he didn't want thanks. And that was something in a person that was truly to be admired.

Renji smiled a little, wistfully, as he thought of the many banters back and forth they'd had in this world. Ichigo was so fiery and headstrong, so fucking stubborn. But, then, so was Renji and it was great to have someone to argue and fight with like Ichigo. Their personalities were so alike and they could lean on each other and understand a lot of the silent and unspoken words. Those times had been fun...a small reprieve from the nasty battles they would have to fight.

Now, standing up here on this hill...staring down at the stone that was Ichigo's grave marker...he couldn't help be a little sad at the loss of Ichigo's physical body. It was sort of like a book that had ended far too soon. Climbing into Ichigo's window at night and scaring the bejeezus out of Ichigo was not going to happen again. And even if it were, it wouldn't be as funny as in the Physical World due to just simply the circumstances.

Likewise, he wasn't going to be able to visit Ichigo at school and watch the boy nearly have a coronary at Renji's surprise visit in a ridiculous outfit that was decades out of fashion.

And he couldn't help also feeling a little sad for the things Ichigo had had to leave undone. He'd by now passed high school, but this had proved he would never be able to finish college like he had wanted to, to work in the field he had chosen. Ichigo had been a good student, Renji knew. Had worked hard. Was smart. And it made even Renji feel sad with the feeling of things left unfinished.

If only Renji had gotten there in time that night. Ichigo had been still recovering from wounds and unfortunately there was no one else to deal with the very powerful Hollow that had threatened Ichigo's familial home and those he cared for within it. And Ichigo had acted valiantly. True, he had been in his physical body, having not been able to find his badge to force himself out of his body, and Kon had been nowhere in sight, but he had distracted the Hollow long enough to allow Renji time to get there.

It had been only blind luck that Renji had been there for Ichigo's final moments, no time for anyone else to arrive, even after Renji had called them. In the end, he had held Ichigo while even that Hollow inside of him could not work fast enough to heal those wounds, not when he wasn't in power himself. A couple of times, Renji had thought maybe it had taken over, but Ichigo somehow refused to let it stay, and in the end even that Hollow couldn't win. Ichigo hated to let the Hollow out if he could help it. Apparently, even if it meant that it could not work fast enough to heal those wounds for Ichigo to the point of getting him at least out of the fatal zone in time.

Renji had also been the one to perform Ichigo's soul burial and it had been surprisingly easy. He had had to assure Ichigo that no matter how this would end up working, if he would end up in Rukongai without any memory of events and people he knew and cared for in this life, or if he would still retain all memory, that no matter what happened Renji would make sure to protect Ichigo's family during the time that Ichigo himself could not.

All other things must have seemed so less important to Ichigo once he had heard Renji's promise and the burial had been very easy. Still, Renji had been a little surprised that Ichigo had not been one of the souls that would dwell on the things he could not finish and that no one else could finish for him. But, either way, Renji was glad it had been himself who had the honor of performing Kurosaki Ichigo's soul burial. And Renji had not been surprised, really, to hear Ichigo say likewise to Renji just before the redheaded Shinigami had pressed the butt of his sword against Ichigo's forehead.

The burial had had to be performed for Ichigo, even though he had been able to become a Shinigami when he was alive by removing his soul from his body, because even though that had been the case...Ichigo's physical body had still been fully alive and a connection to it had still remained even without the Chain of Fate linking his soul to his physical form. Once the link was severed permanently, a soul burial still had to be performed due to the severing of that link and the fact that now...Ichigo was truly and fully...dead and no longer linked to his physical form OR the Physical World through that physical form.

It was fitting, though, in a way. The way Ichigo died, he meant. He had died, more or less, in battle, protecting the ones he loved and cared for and cherished above all else. He didn't succumb to an aging body that had worn down through the course of time. He did not give in to any illness or disease. He didn't commit suicide and he didn't succumb any wounds inflicting upon himself by an unworthy opponent's surprise or sneak attack.

And that...made Renji grin a little bit as he set the flowers down near the gravestone. Red roses, red for passion, roses for love. Renji knew what he was stating by this odd choice of flower, especially by placing a dozen there, so many...And he did not give a rat's ass about how it may or may not look. Because, anyone taking it to mean that he was now or ever had been in love with Kurosaki Ichigo would have hit the nail right on the head. He was, he had been and that was not going to change.

"Oi, teme, what the hell are you doin up here again?!" came a loud, irritated voice from behind him.

"What's it look like I'm doin, ya fuckwad?!" Renji answered, turning to growl at his carrot-topped lover.

"Che. Are you emo-ing over my grave again?" Ichigo asked with a roll of his eyes.

"So what if I am? I'm off duty right now, I can loiter wherever I want." Renji answered as he folded his arms.

"Dumbass, you're not supposed to leave Soul Society without permission." Ichigo answered as he whacked Renji upside the head.

"Oi! I did have permission!" Renji cried with a growl. He immediately brought a hand up to test his spiky ponytail.

"Oh god, Ren! Did I mess up yer hair?! Oh my god, you didn't break a nail on my tombstone there, did ya?" Ichigo teased.

"I'm gonna beat yer ass when we get home!" Renji snarled as he stalked up to Ichigo. They were both in spiritual form, no gigai were being used right now, and Ichigo had the uniform of any other Shinigami, though he did have a seated officer's position. He was one step down from a fukutaichou. It had surprised, but in a way pleased, Renji that Ichigo had refused to immediately go into the ranking of captain, though he had been one for a while before his death.

He had wanted no special treatment. He had gone through the Academy like every other Shinigami and was working his way up through the ranks. Steadily, but that was not due to special treatment. Ichigo really did have the talent and the skill whenever he was promoted. Renji was very proud of him and Ichigo was very proud of himself.

Renji almost blushed, however, when he noticed the perverted grin Ichigo suddenly acquired. "Damn, I hope so. Ya fell asleep before we could last night!"

Renji blushed. "You have no idea how sleepy paperwork makes me." he whined a bit.

"Excuses, excuses." Ichigo said.

"Whatever. Let's just go." Renji tried to steer Ichigo away from the grave site in hopes of getting him home quickly.

"Oi, wait...ya left flowers..." Ichigo said, looking over the taller redhead's shoulder a bit.

"Well, ain't ya supposed ta do that? Besides, they're just roses and ya already know I love ya and I'm gonna prove it again if ya just go home with me." Renji did not like getting caught doing anything sappy or mushy.

"Yeah, the ones on my grave are roses. But ya left a lily on my mom's grave...and Karin and Yuzu's, too. And..what the hell did you put a snapdragon on my dad's grave for?" Ichigo blinked.

It was not a sad moment for Ichigo to see the graves of the rest of his family. Mostly because it was no surprise that more than eighty years later these people were no longer alive. Even Isshin, after all of his children had passed away, had not be upset about once again returning to the Soul Society. Though, admittedly, not as a Shinigami.

Ichigo had only found his sisters again due to the fact that he was persistent and stubborn beyond belief. Most people never find one family member again, let alone all of them. Well...with the exception of Masaki. Ichigo still had not told Renji why he did not even attempt to look for his mother, even though everyone close to Ichigo knew so very well how much Ichigo had loved and missed her...and how much it was still so very true.

Finding Isshin had not been truly difficult. A gigai with the ability to age was not and has never been the same as not having died yet. Yuzu and Karin were the toughest to find. Ichigo had focused on Yuzu at first, knowing the girls would both show up in Rukongai and knowing how rough the districts were the further up they went in number. He had not wanted Yuzu, who had always been incapable of even pretending not to care when something upset her, who was always so sensitive. It had pained Ichigo to choose to look for either of his sisters above the other. They had ended up in completely different districts, though, without any clue who Ichigo was.

Renji thought it was cute how no matter how big his sisters got that Ichigo always called them girls and considered them girls. Not women. And Renji felt a little sorry for most of their boyfriends. Ichigo rarely liked any of them and even more rarely ever tried to be too civil. But, Renji at the same time could not blame him for that and had himself become a little protective of the two sisters.

"Yeah, well...never mind." Renji blushed.

"No, tell me. I wanna know..." Ichigo insisted.

Renji knew this was a losing battle and even though he would normally still fight Ichigo on these sorts of things, he figured right now wasn't a good time to get into a head-butting contest with Ichigo if he wanted to maintain any hope that they would get home and be able to fuck the handsome strawberry senseless.

"Well, I mean, I know yer sisters and I like 'em so I put flowers on their graves, too. And I know ya love yer mom, Ichi. Even if ya won't tell me what happened, I know ya miss her and so I put a flower there out'a respect. And yer dad...well his personality sometimes reminds me of that flower, okay?" Renji folded his arms and looked away with a stubborn expression. That was ALL Ichigo was getting, sex or no sex, damn it!

Ichigo just looked at Renji for a moment. Waiting for the tall redhead to get worried or uncomfortable enough to at least glance at him.

The very second Renji's eye turned to see exactly what had Ichigo so quiet and if he was in trouble for something, he noticed the shit-eating grin on Ichigo's face. When his eyes widened in surprise and uncertainty at the sight and he was looking at Ichigo full-on now, he had not a moment to even blink before Ichigo grabbed his hand and shunpo'd his way back to the Urahara Shoten with a flailing Renji in tow yelling at his lover to slow down a minute or let go of him so that he could get footing enough to use his own shunpo technique without tripping over himself and falling on his face.

Ichigo refused to listen. As usual. This did not truly come as a surprise to Renji, though.

Rukia smirked to herself as she came out of her little hiding spot. She had managed to get a good picture of Renji's flailing while being dragged and she thought the Shinigami Women's Association would appreciate it. It was a good thing that 12th Division captain, Kurotsuchi Mayuri, had decided to make a replica of the human's Polaroid cameras that had the capabilities of spitting out pictures on the spot. Because, a human camera could never have hoped to capture a good picture of anyone in the middle of shunpo. But, Kurotsuchi's camera could! And had.

"I wonder if I can get copies of this somehow and tack them up throughout Seireitei..." she muttered to herself as she stared at the picture.

"Hey...why didn't those idiots just open up a gate right here?" she asked, thoughtfully, before shrugging. She'd just beat them back to Seireitei!

End


End file.
